When everything is lonely, [entries|friends|calendar] !!@#$%& Karma Police arrest this girl her Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill. >&We >have >crashed >her >party. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Okay so. [Friday, August 4th, 2006 7:28pm] [ music | Peeps jammin'. ] About this time last year I was wondering what I'd put onto the mix tapes I'd send Sean for his birthday. I'm doing the exact same thing this year, even though I haven't heard a word from him in 8 months. I'm beginning to think that I'm insane. For real. I just realized that I've been really shitty to Amanda for the past like, two years, and I didn't even realize. I am a really fucking retardedly shitty friend. I hope that things are better when school starts. I just hope my shitty mood subsides, is all. I hope to become a better person. I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. I just know that I am doing wrong. I guess acknowledging is the first step. 3 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

More track listings. [Sunday, May 7th, 2006 7:49pm] Sorry I haven't updated for like 3 months before today. I forgot my password and I was too stubborn to click the "forgot password?" link until today. I've got a few more mix tape covers, and I should probably put music on them before I have too much music and too many covers to keep up. Anyway. Mix #009 ~ side 1: 1. Grandaddy ~ A.M. 180. 2. Sparklehorse ~ Weird Sisters 3. Death Cab ~ Soul Meets Body (Shut up.) 4. 5. 6. Mix #009 ~ side 2: 1 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Holidays, hollow nights. [Sunday, May 7th, 2006 4:23pm] [ music | Norfolk & Western ~ Absence of photographs. ] (I just wrote that in the subject line so that I'd remember it.) I've stopped all intoxicants, although I keep getting ecstacy flashbacks before I go to sleep. Which would be cool if I didn't only get flashbacks from the 3 minutes that I was tripping the fuck out. I will have to say that after doing drugs my thoughts have become a lot more interesting. Onto other subjects I guess. I am not doing well in any sense. On Thursday my mom was admitted to Schmick, the mental institution on Stockton. She just got home today. I was home alone for the most part, taking care of Scooter. On Saturday some of my family came over to make sure I was alright, and Daniel brought me groceries, so that was cool. But the whole time she was gone I kept thinking about how empty the house was and how it's probably that way when I'm gone too. And how it was like that every other day for four months because I was out getting fucked up all the time. I don't really know what to think. Sean's not coming back. I'm not ever leaving. I don't even feel like a whole person anymore. 2 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

[Thursday, January 5th, 2006 12:59pm] [ music | Figurine ~ Electronic Address. ] "My sister's screensaver, which is just a program that runs random image files found in the computer, has been picking up my saved pictures and scandalising the household, apparently. The one that drew the most commentary was of Crabbe and Goyle fucking in a pile of food, while Draco looks on from a chair, yawning. Hey, I didn't install the screensaver, give me a break. My mother felt it was an appropriate time to let me know that none of her friends or anyone she had known spent time looking at gay pornography. Or maybe they just didn't tell her about it, although evidently this is inconceivable. Also, she probably hasn't been spending enough time with fourteen year olds in the 'scene', because from what I hear they're absolutely obsessed. Goodnight." Pretty much the most priceless entry on livejournal, EVER. I think it ties with Michelle's 'Lily's boyfriend' conversation entry. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Anyway, I'm off to Amanda Page's house to see her. She's like, "WHEN U GONNA COM SEE MAH KID?" I said, TODAY. So here I go. See you guys when I see you. Peacout. 2 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

[Wednesday, January 4th, 2006 7:14pm] ( Is this really appropriate? ) I mean, SRSLY GUYS. 3 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

[Monday, January 2nd, 2006 5:33pm] [ music | Joy Division ~ New Dawn Fades. ] I tried Morningstar Farms' chicken nuggets for the first time last week, and I was absolutely overjoyed when I discovered that they taste just like chicken. I wanted to write Morningstar Farms a letter to tell them how well they captured the taste of chicken. But just now, I realized that it couldn't have been that difficult make something taste like chicken, since EVERYTHING tastes like chicken. And now I'm a little sad. 4 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Happy New Year. [Sunday, January 1st, 2006 11:12pm] [ music | Neutral Milk Hotel ~ Two-headed boy. ] Well, I came home alive, and with a significantly lighter head. (Quite a few of my braincells are missing, I can imagine.) Note to self: Although you ruined the party, you alleviated all curiousity concerning weed and the effects of weed. Even if you were never curious in the first place. Which you weren't. Cheers. What are my New Year's resolutions? - Be more sensible when dealing with intoxicants. (Can I trust myself when not thinking clearly? NO.) - TO MAKE A SAILOR MOON COSTUME AND WEAR IT TO A CONVENTION! (I will, shut up.) - Oh, and graduate from Highschool. - Also, I want to learn how to cook delicious vegan dishes this year. - And keep my room clean all year. Yep! 8 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

More on Christmas. [Sunday, December 25th, 2005 10:50pm] PeonChrist: Merry booblessmas. eargasmsss: hahhhakjdhad eargasmsss: Sgut up. eargasmsss: That was sposabe Shu up. eargasmsss: shut up. eargasmsss: NOFUCKINGSLASJD eargasmsss: REA SALAD PeonChrist: ... eargasmsss: 'STUp? Cold hands on a foreign keyboard. Type something like "SALAD" if you're trying to sound REALLY drunk. 1 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

I'm having a bloo Christmas without yoo. [Sunday, December 25th, 2005 9:49pm] [ music | Aeroplane Flies High. ] I'm at my holiday retreat in Berry Creek. (My cousin's house.) It's really freezing, but at least I can do some soul-searching while I'm here. (In between Carols.) I also got a bunch of neat stuff. A toaster oven. (BYEBYE CANCEROUS MICROWAVE!) A cake decorating set. (I can't fucking wait to use this thing. I've been wanting to decorate cakes professional-like since I was fucking BORN. I'm also a big showoff, so if I can decorate a cake, all of my neighbors will be SOOOOO jealous.) And a funny lava lamp. (Now I can use all those psychodelic drugs I've been saving.) And a whole bunch of other stuff like socks and bath salts. There is one troublem, though. I'll probably not stop gaming to bake a cake for a SECOND. Although Morrowind and Diablo II havn't been taking up AS MUCH of my life lately, you can still consider me to be EXTREMELY DEDICATED. And if I do stop gaming so much, it'll be to get crunk with my friends. But I will try to bake some cakes in the near future. My cousins seem to really like what we got for them. I totally forgot that I was even getting presents. (Do you guys ever do that?) My cousin Wyatt is obsessed with the Bionicle things we got him. He's got like 15,000 of them already, they're totally cool. He got the TOWER OF TOA from my cousin Theron. (Sweet!) I've also been stuffing my face with completely vegan delights all weekend. (My cousin Desi is vegan and she KNOWS HOW TO COOK!) and I've stolen about 1,500 recipes from her so I can get cookin'. My aunt uses this unanimally tested non-toxical dishoap and clothes detergent and all that stuff that I can use. It's called Seventh Generation and it's TOTALLY SWEET! I can't wait until I go to the laundry mat with this stuff (and a cake that I just baked and decorated) and I'm like, "You should really consider the impact of your decisions on the next seven generations. Don't you just love this cake I just baked? But of couse, I can't buy this stuff until I have my own job and I'm moved out because my mom's like, "I LIKE TIDE!!!!!!!! I'M NOT BUYING THAT STUFF IT COST SO MUCH!" I can also subscribe to a newspaper so that I can READ IT IN THE MORNING WHILE I DRINK MY COFFEE WITH ALCOHOL IN IT! I'm totally going to be the best grown up ever. I can't wait until college. I'm already growing up hella. I've been holding babies. HOLDING BABIES. (Well, a baby.) I'VE NEVER HELD A BABY IN MY LIFE UNTIL SATURDAY. I AM SCARED TO DEATH OF BABIES. (Well, not anymore.) I don't think that baby Natalie was too sweet on the idea of me holding her. But I did it anyway and I walked around holding her and people kept on handing her to me because THEY TRUST ME TO HOLD HER. I AM TRUSTED WITH A BABY. (I never thought it possible.) Actually I was lying about her not being too sweet on the idea. SHE LOVES ME. A BABY LOVES ME. And she's really cute. INCREDIBLY CUTE. Except she was very drooly. And when I tried to wipe her with a tissue SHE GRABBED THE TISSUE AND IT WAS SO CUTE!!!! (But of course, I took it away from her because it's a HAZARD. P.S. I CAN RECOGNIZE A HAZARD.) P.S.- on the grownup thing: Michelle, I still really want to do the Inn thing. I was in one of my psychotic moods when I posted that blog about thinking that my plan for the future was stupid. I still think that it pretty much rules , it's just when Amanda sprung that whole "I'M MOVING TO EUROPE!!!!" thing on me I was like, psh, there's really no point in persuing my dreams without my friends. But as long as we're all in this, it's still on. We're still going to live together and and eat a whole bunch of health food but at the same time drink and smoke all day and go to anime conventions dressed like Sailor Moon characters because we're punk rock. P.S.- again: I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO AMANDA PAGE'S HOUSE SO THAT I CAN HOLD HER BABY AND MAKE HIM LIKE ME. (I don't even care if there's drool.) P.S. once more: I'll be home on Monday night so someone give me a ring at around 8 and we can go to a show (and avoid old guys) or get crunk or something. 1 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Someday. [Saturday, December 10th, 2005 9:10pm] We'll buy a house with a good climbing tree. 4 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

There's more than one way to eat a Reese's. [Thursday, October 20th, 2005 9:51pm] chromexbitch, cryxoutxloud, dan_xxx, dustinxcredible, edge_scene_xxx, ghetto_mission, goat_roper, hoe_cake, hugozgrl4evalol, imatroll, inxcoldxblood, joexrosario, lynxstarfire, murceryflox, nazilove, nightmares_of_x, staygoldxxx, sweetxkss, sxe_chicana, sxebydefault, thexlastxlaugh, thexshameful, tokyohardcore, touchxoverrated, upxandxgo, useoncedestroyx, x_bythethroat_x, xallyx, xalone4everx, xbeardedxladyx, xbeercorex, xbrendonx, xbrokenxsporkx, xburninmystarsx, xcastellarx, xcryoutedgex, xdabadguyx, xellax, xeroxchamp, xfightnightx, xforgottenx, xfragglex, xitsabouttimex, xitsxsethx, xlucky_mex, xn2tsdavex, xnevermorex, xox_l4ur3n_xox, xpiratexgirlx, xpoisonedxdayx, xpuncturewoundx, xredlipsx, xslackerbitchx, xspiritof84x, xthesextearsx, xthronesx, xtoughshitx, xwhitetograyx, xxamandaxx, xxbleedingxx, xxinmyeyes, xxitsxtimxx, xxpeguinsxx, xxpunqrawkerxx, xxsportigirlxx, xxtaxidermyxx, xxx_henry_xxx, xxxjessxxcuz, xxxlostinyouxxx, xyourluckystar I copied and pasted these directly out of a livejournal community roster. Fucking bloody hell. I was only going ot leave in the ones with X's in them, but some of them were just too funny to take out. Like, hoe_cake for example. AHAHA! 5 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

[Saturday, August 20th, 2005 10:32pm] There once was a boy named Gimmesome Roy. He was nothing like me or you. 'Cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do. As a kid, he sat in the cellar, sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked bananas -- which was then the thing to do. He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, breathed helium on the sly, And his life was just one endless search to find that perfect high. But grass just made him want to lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night, And the great things he wrote while he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light. And speed just made him rap all day, reds just laid him back, And Cocaine Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back. He tried PCP and THC, but they didn't quite do the trick, And poppers nearly blew his heart and mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long. And hashish was just a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong, And Quaaludes made him stumble, and booze just made him cry, Till he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high. Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat who lived up in Nepal, High on a craggy mountaintop, up a sheer and icy wall. "But hell," says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly, But I'll find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high." So out and off goes Gimmesome Roy to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he tries that cliff, then back down again he slides Then sits -- and cries -- and climbs again, pursuing the perfect high. He's grinding his teeth, he's coughing blood, he's aching and shaking and weak, As starving and sore and bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat, As there in perfect repose and wearing no clothes -- sits the godlike Baba Fats. "What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz. I hear you're hip to the perfect trip. Please tell me what it is. For you can see," says Roy to he, "that I'm about to die, So for my last ride, Fats, how can I achieve the perfect high?" "Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "here's one more burnt-out soul, Who's looking for some alchemist to turn his trip to gold. But you won't find it in no dealer's stash, or on no druggist's shelf. Son, if you would seek the perfect high -- find it in yourself." "Why, you jive motherfucker!" screamed Gimmesome Roy, "I've climbed through rain and sleet, I've lost three fingers off my hands and four toes off my feet! I've braved the lair of the polar bear and tasted the maggot's kiss. Now, you tell me the high is in myself. What kind of shit is this? My ears 'fore they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kind of crap, But I didn't climb for fourteen years to listen to that sophomore rap. And I didn't crawl up here to hear that the high is on the natch, So you tell me where the real stuff is or I'll kill your guru ass!" "Ok, OK," says Baba Fats, "you're forcing it out of me. There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zaboli. A wretched land of stone and sand where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzu-Tzu tree. And every ten years it blooms one flower as white as the Key West sky, And he who eats of the Tzu-Tzu flower will know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave and it hits like the blazing sun. And the high, it lasts a lifetime and the down don't ever come. But the Zaboli land is ruled by a giant who stands twelve cubits high. With eyes of red in his hundred heads, he waits for the passers-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the River of Slime, Where the mucous beasts, they wait to feast on those who journey by. And if you survive the giant and the beasts and swim that slimy sea, There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards that Tzu-Tzu tree." "To hell with your witches and giants," laughs Roy. "To hell with the beasts of the sea. As long as the Tzu-Tzu flower blooms, some hope still blooms for me." And with tears of joy in his snow-blind eye, Roy hands the guru a five, Then back down the icy mountain he crawls, pursuing that perfect high. "Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone, Facing another thousand years of talking to God alone. "It seems, Lord", says Fats, "it's always the same, old men or bright-eyed youth, It's always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth." Clarissa just read us this poem. And she read it in a real jazzy voice. But we're gonne get drunk now, and read more poetry. Updates to come. yesyes. 11 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Tagged. [Saturday, August 20th, 2005 2:20pm] [ music | Janis Joplin. ] "Six songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words or even if they're any good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artist and the song in your LiveJournal along with your six songs. Then tag six other people to see what they're listening to." 1. Unwind, by Sonic Youth. 2. Red Right Ankle, by The Decemberists. 3. Sail Away, by Bright Eyes. 4. The Diamond Sea, by Sonic Youth. 5. Radio, by The Smashing Pumpkins. (This song is always on my digging list. I love this song.) 6. Bad Diary Days, by Pedro the Lion. (Yeah, this song is good also.) P.S., I'm at Heather's. Sean ain't here, and I am sad. :( 1 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Facts about Vin Deisel. [Monday, August 8th, 2005 8:00pm] There's two kind of people in the world, and one of them is Vin Diesel. Ironically, Vin Diesel only drinks unleaded. Vin Diesel engineered and produced the Minutemen's 1989 album "Double Nickels on the Dime" under the name Ethan James. Vin Diesel only buys products that were tested on animals. Vin Diesel invaded Poland and then asked Hitler to take the fall for him. Vin Diesel is Bill Brasky. Vin Diesel used the Shroud of Turin as a tissue. The "skidda-marinky-dinky-dink" song from "The Elephant Show" was penned by Vin Diesel. He gave it to Sharon, Lois and Bram in return for allowing him to play The Elephant. Vin Diesel can be linked to Kevin Bacon in 0 degrees, despite not being Kevin Bacon. In 1996 Vin Diesel won a hotdog eating contest in Decatur, Georgia despite actually being on a fishing boat off Nova Scotia. Vin Diesel gave birth to Abe Lincoln, Muddy Waters, and Spider-Man during the heat wave of 1968. Vin Diesel knocked down the Berlin Wall because he "didn't like the way it was looking at him". Vin Diesel broke up The Beatles. Vin Diesel has racked up over nine billion Flawless Victories in Mortal Kombat. Not as a character, he went into the game itself. Vin Diesel once inhaled a seagull. In high school, God always used to cheat off Vin Diesel. If you use a computer to take a 3-dimensional topographical layout of Vin Diesel's body, then divide every coordinate on the graph by pi, the outcoming number will cause the computer to become self-aware. Contrary to popular belief, the story of Hermes and Apollo's cattle actually has next to nothing to do with Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel gets indigestion after swallowing his pride. Vin Diesel's urine is bottled and marketed under the brand name Pepsi. Vin Diesel's kidney stones made up the members of "Wham!" Vin Diesel once saved a busload of orphans from going off a cliff, but only to consume them because he hadn't had breakfast that morning. The final digit of Pi is Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel's silhouette is used for the NBA logo. Vin Diesel is the only person who has witnessed the beginning of the universe. This experience would form the basis for his character in "Knockaround Guys." Vin Diesel invented biodiversity in the year 1993 because he thought 400 species of ants just wasn't good enough. Vin Diesel can draw a complete square with an "X" inside it without lifting his pencil or retracing lines he's already drawn. Vin Diesel once tight-roped across the Pacific Ocean, stopping only once in Guam to liberate it from the Spanish. Vin Diesel passed up the opportunity to star in 2 Fast 2 Furious because he was exactly 3 Fast 3 Furious to be caught on film. ::nods.:: 9 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Stuff I've been up to. [Saturday, July 23rd, 2005 11:19pm] I put up a DeviantART. So, nearly all of my online time has been put into that. Everyday after school I've come home and played Morrowind. But first I make a soup and a sandwich. ("A soup." HAAHAHAH.) I play all day. Until like 12:30. One day a week I get on the internet and do my thing. This entry is sucky. OH, I KNOW. I'll put the answers to my last thingy since you guys are 'tarded and didn't guess all of them. You could have just cheated. Stupids. 1. Power can be such a tease, you're always wanting more. it's good to know that just like sex, it can be payed for. - Pedro the Lion, "Simple Economics." 2. This is the place where time reverses, an dead men talk to all the pretty nurses. instruments shine on a silver tray, don't let me get carried away. - Elliot Smith, "King's Crossing." 3. Drag the miles in me, I am yours alone. - Smashing Pumpkins, "Pug." 4. Where songwriters tie their songs to their ankles and sink to the beat until they STOP, and, burst under pressure. - Cursive, "Burst and Bloom." 5. Rain down, rain down, comon', rain down on me ... from a great height, from a great height. - Radiohead, "Paranoid Android." 6. Down in the Valley below, there's people on fire, and they don't even know. I was actually hoping someone would know what song this is, because I don't. 7. Oh, Dutchess, I love your floppy ears. (On me) I could eat them from the inside out, but that would just be gross. - Fixed, "Dutchess." 8. We lack the motion, to move to the NEW BEAT! - Refused, "New Noise." 9. There's a japanese man in the business suit, blowing smoke rings in your eyes. And muscular cyborg German Dudes dance with sexy french canadians... while the overweight Amaericans wear their patriotic jumpsuits. - Cake, "Wheels." 10. The more it stings the more I try. Keeps waking up each time I die a little death I cry. A thousands leagues, a million miles, are secrets buried in the vault beneath the oceans wide. - Giant Squid, "Dead Man's Fog." 11. Let's sail away, disappearing, in the mist. Let's sail away with a whisper and a kiss. We'll vanish, from a road somewhere, like Theresa and Thomas, suspended in this bliss. - Bright Eyes, "Sail Away." 12. Do the callouses cure her furrowed brow, even now? - The Decemberists, "The Bachelor, and the Bride." 13. I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier. - The Killers, "All the things I've done." (Shut up Allie.) 14. Smokers in the rain, glasses in the dark, sailboats on the shore, engines with no sparks ... - Justin Farren, We Don't Work. 15. I'm just a sexy boy, (sexy boy) I'm not your boy toy, (boy toy) - Some Wrestling Theme that Talbot used to make me listen to. 16. Summertime, time, time ... child, you're livin' easy. - Janis Joplin, "Summertime." 17. He's acting dumb, that's what you've come to expect. Sometimes you just, get caught in the eye, you're pullin' him through. - Elliot Smith, "Needle in the Hay." 18. Trash into trash equals trash flavored trash. - The Blood Brothers, "Trash Flavored Trash." (EZ.) 19. I wanna leave today, the sky is big and my life is small. I wanna leave with you, so we can build a desert garden. - Vast, "Desert Garden." 20. And the people bowed and prayed, to the neon gods they made. - Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sound of Silence." And, in case anyone was wondering. (Which you probably weren't.) I'm currently obsessed with Sonic Youth and The Decemberists. I really am. I can't stop. I'm spinning outofcontrol, outofcontrol. P.S.- I love everyone. Especially Allie and Corey and Michelle and Amanda. And Emily when I see more of her. :) P.P.S.- Lyrics: This is the story of your red right ankle. And how it came to meet your leg, And how the muscle, bone, and sinews tangled, And how the skin was softly shed. And how it whispered, "Oh adhere to me, For we are bound by symmetry And whatever differences our lives have been We together, make a limb." This is the story of your red right ankle. This is the story of your gypsy uncle, You never knew 'cause he was dead. And how his face was carved and rift with wrinkles, In the picture in your head. And remember how you found the key To his hideout in the Pyrenees But you wanted to keep his secret safe So you threw the key away. This is the story of your gypsy uncle. This is the story of the boys who loved you. Who love you now, and loved you then Some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you. Some just laid around in bed. Some had crumbled you straight to your knees Did it cruel, did it tenderly Some had crawled their way into your heart To rend your ventricles apart. This is the story of the boys who loved you. This is the story of your red right ankle. 15 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

[Monday, July 11th, 2005 2:54pm] [ music | Justin Farren - We Don't Work. ] Foooooooooooooooooom. Here we go. Step 1: Get your music together, put it on random, and play! Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 20 songs that play! Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from! Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly! (No cheating! As in, no googling.) 1. Power can be such a tease, you're always wanting more. it's good to know that just like sex, it can be payed for. 2. This is the place where time reverses, an dead men talk to all the pretty nurses. instruments shine on a silver tray, don't let me get carried away. 3. Drag the miles in me, I am yours alone. 4. Where songwriters tie their songs to their ankles and sink to the beat until they STOP, and, burst under pressure. 5. Rain down, rain down, comon', rain down on me ... from a great height, from a great height. 6. Down in the Valley below, there's people on fire, and they don't even know. 7. Oh, Dutchess, I love your floppy ears. (On me) I could eat them from the inside out, but that would just be gross. 8. We lack the motion, to move to the NEW BEAT! 9. There's a japanese man in the business suit, blowing smoke rings in your eyes. And muscular cyborg German Dudes dance with sexy french canadians... while the overweight Amaericans wear their patriotic jumpsuits. 10. The more it stings the more I try. Keeps waking up each time I die a little death I cry. A thousands leagues, a million miles, are secrets buried in the vault beneath the oceans wide. 11. Let's sail away, disappearing, in the mist. Let's sail away with a whisper and a kiss. We'll vanish, from a road somewhere, like Theresa and Thomas, suspended in this bliss. 12. Do the callouses cure her furrowed brow, even now? 13. I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier. 14. Smokers in the rain, glasses in the dark, sailboats on the shore, engines with no sparks ... 15. I'm just a sexy boy, (sexy boy) I'm not your boy toy, (boy toy) 16. Summertime, time, time ... child, you're livin' easy. 17. He's acting dumb, that's what you've come to expect. Sometimes you just, get caught in the eye, you're pullin' him through. 18. Trash into trash equals trash flavored trash. 19. I wanna leave today, the sky is big and my life is small. I wanna leave with you, so we can build a desert garden. 20. And the people bowed and prayed, to the neon gods they made. 15 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Alright, I'm here now. [Monday, July 11th, 2005 1:36pm] [ music | The Blood Brothers ~ Trash Flavored Trash. ] So, as you may or may not know, I've been playing Morrowind for the past three weeks. And it's all I can talk about, it's my other life. The other day I was sitting on the bus, and I saw a couple of cops and I got REALLY SCARED. I was like, "What if they SEE ME?" But then I thought, "Oh yeah, I got the bounty on my head cleared. Phew." The possibility that I killed four people in a VIDEOGAME and I wouldn't be punished in real life didn't occur to me until about an hour later. Sometimes I think I really am crazy. 8 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

On a more exciting note: [Sunday, June 19th, 2005 8:52pm] sny PERV yper13: have you ever pirated? eargasmsss: Arrr, of course I have! 2 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Today was a good day. [Sunday, June 19th, 2005 8:08pm] I didn't get anything on my list. However, I DID get Sonic Youth's WASHING MACHINE. And HER MAJESTY by the Decemberists. Je suis contente. (French 1, what bitch?) 6 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

Additions to the CD/book list. [Sunday, June 19th, 2005 3:14pm] List of books I need to read: (For my very own reference.) Aldous Huxley, Brave New World. Palaniuk, Stranger than Fiction. And anything else by this author. Eric Schlosser, Fast Food Nation Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy And anything else by this author. Faulker, As I Lay Dying, And anything else by this author. William Golding, Lord of the Flies Nicholas Pileggi, Casino Vladmir Naboko, Lolita ADDED TO THE LIST OF WANTS: The Godfather part I, II, and III. The Sicilian. Still on the lookout for the books on my other list. List of albums I need to buy: (For my very own reference.) The Dresden Dolls, Dresden Dolls, Coin Operated Boy Modest Mouse, The Moon and Antarctica, Building Nothing out of Something Desaparecidos, Happiest place on Earth Mogwai, Come on Die Young, Happy Songs for Happy People Pedro the Lion, My EP, Whole Radiohead, Kid A, Amnesiac, Hail to the Thief The Smashing Pumpkins, Gish The Shins, Chutes Too Narrow, Oh, Inverted World Placebo, Without You I'm Nothing, Black Market Music, Self Titled, Once more With Feeling. The Pixies, Fucking everything. The Blood Brothers, Crimes, Ambulance Vs Ambulance Sonic Youth, Dirty, Goo Belle and Sabastian, Tigermilk, If You're Feeling Sinister, The Boy With te Arab Strap The Faint Media, Blank-wave Arcade, Wet From Birth Death cab For Cutie, We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes, Something About Airplanes, Forbidden Love EP Cursive, Cursive's Domestica Opeth, Orchid, Blackwater Park Zwan, Mary Star of the Sea Bjork, Medulla, Greatest Hits Elliot Smith Self Titled, XO The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Machine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs Rilo Kiley, More Adventurous, Take-offs and Landings Look into: The Decemberists, The Unicorns, Phantom Planet, Vast, The Mars Volta, Grandaddy, Blonde Redhead, Simon and Garfunkel. 14 helped the police. Beat yourself up.

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